New Years Email

Hello from Haiti!

As the new year approaches I wanted to take a moment to send you new years blessings. Thank you so much for your prayers - you completely covered me and it is absolutely a miracle that I arrived on schedule on Wednesday. As many of you found out, my flight on Tuesday was cancelled and I was put on a new one that would have gotten me into Miami at 6pm on the 29th .... but my flight to Port au Prince was at 8:20am that same morning morning! Long story short, I was able to get a spot on a flight that was supposed to leave at 2:30pm on the 28th but was delayed in Toronto. After checking in I then proceed to go through customs (in the Toronto airport you clear US customs before leaving the country) and then ran into confusion regarding my visa status and really should have missed my flight because I got sent into secondary inspection but when I got there God put it on my heart to keep talking to the officer at the check in counter and I don't know what I said but somehow I got him to walk me back through customs and I got processed and on my flight. However, I was told that in Miami I would have to sort out the paperwork confusion so if you could please lift up m return trip as well it would be much - that I would have favor with the customs people and that everything will be sorted out smoothly without confusion or complication for my return.

We are now three days in and it has been WONDERFUL. I was talking with Amy & Burke and we all felt as if the energy here is different. Despite what the news is saying, it feels more alive, somehow. The airport is in significantly better condition than last time. The chaos I remembered... no more! It was so orderly, even exiting there is now a separator so that it is a lot more secure when you exit. Mama Florence was outside the last customs check when we stepped out into the warm, sunny Haitian morning. The drive to RENMEN proved to also be less chaotic than I remembered. No traffic jams and significantly less rubble in general in and along the streets. We saw police officers directing traffic in a few places and clean-up underway as well. Although, we didn't go any where near down town which was where the most damage was done, but I'm hopeful that there too has been progress. Mama says it has been much slower than people expected, but that there IS progress.

The children were surprised to have more visitors arrive two days after Sammy Jo & Burke and we have spent a lot of time catching up and just loving on them. My younger sister had prepared copies of a French coloring book telling the story of the birth of Jesus so that was an afternoon project yesterday. Last night, the foundation had an annual end-of-year party/fundraiser which included a talent show by the children. It is an event they look forward to each year and was really special to be able to share with them.

There has been a lot of work done at RENMEN since June. The kitchen is fully functioning (there wasn't one in the summer, it has been destroyed in the earthquake) and a new refrigerator, stove, washer & dryer are on their way (Florence had them donated and shipped via crate and is waiting to have the taxes sorted out by customs to be able to pick them up) thanks to a generous donation. All of the children are back in dorms! In June, the girls were still in tents and the boys sleeping in the school tent because of damages from the earthquake. The girls are now back in their dorms and the boys sleeping area has moved to where the medical clinic used to be as they wait for finances to be able to rebuild their dorm.

Amy, Burke, Emily, Sammy Jo & I have just spent time remembering 2010 and spending time to reflect on where God has taken us. None of us would have ever imagined being able to share this evening together, here in Haiti, with these special people. We are truly grateful for it. I am so grateful for all of you that made this possible for me, thank you for your support - whether it was by prayer or emotional or financial support without you I would not be here with these kids. I'm so grateful you are in my life.

May the Lord.... bless you and keep you;make His face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace today and in the year to come -Numbers 6:24-26.

In His love,

Melly

A day at RENMEN

Sorry for the randomness, but my journal was mostly just a bullet list of things :)

• lovin`the return of the spicey hatian pasta for breakfast
• LOTS of play time, coloring the naissance de Jesus bible story
• mobbed by kids when broke out stickers
• making thank you greeting card & taking pictures for people back home
• morning QT with the five of us in Momma`s room
• ZERO personal space (being intentional NOT to have any since our time with the kids is so short this round)
• temperature is amaaaazing
• kids feel different, entirely different comfort level with us... like family
• my hair gets done about 2x a day by different kids, cornrows are a hit with them, trying to keep patience level super high esp when it kinda hurts while they do it lol
• Rachelle sticks to me like glue at all times
• So happy to b here, can`t believe it is the end of 2010 already, wild to think of where I was at spiritually and emotionally a year ago. God is goooood Romans 12:2
• So grateful for everyone who allowed God to use them to get me here for the 2nd time in 6 months.... from me & the kids at RENMEN a great big MESI!

like coming home...

So amazing to be back. Airport pick up went sooo smoothly I can't believe I was ever even concerned over it. Mama was standing right outside the customs check point after we exited (she had made it past the security point so we didn't even have to leave the airport grounds before finding her).

The changes from 6 months ago were obvious from the moment we stepped off the plane and into the airport - now there is a separate area to fill out customs forms, the baggage claim areas were now separated (instead of one location for all incoming flights and total chaos trying to get bags).

We were in the truck within maybe 20 minutes of exiting and on our way to RENMEN. The streets seemed noticeably more orderly, less rubble, more people seemed to be going about the business of living life....

When we got to RENMEN the kids were in the yard trying to see who was in the truck as soon as the gates opened. Soooo much excitement and energy when they saw who was inside everyone began jumping and clapping. All of us in the truck were on the same energy/happiness high (obviously) and I (of course) began tearing up before I could even get out of the truck. Any and all thoughts/feelings of not wanting to come if there weas a chance of not being able to get back into the U.S. were completely gone. Of course this is worth it!!!!! This exact moment would be reason enough to take that risk. We fell over each other, the three of us, trying to get out of the truck and were absolutely mobbed with love.

Oliver is walking!!!!!

A few new faces are here but also a lot of saddness hit when we realized that a few faces were also gone - Marie-Danielle, Samantha, Magdala... :(

We spent the afternoon playing, had dinner and caught up with Burke and Sammy Jo who had gotten there a couple of days ahead of Amy, Emily, and I.

It feels like a complete time distortion right now - as if we hadn't left we are so comfortable and at ease here, feels like coming home in many ways... but also as if it has been ages ago because of all the "life" that's happened for all of us in the past 6 months....

The weather is beautiful - warm but not exhausting heat the way it was last June. Mama insisted that the four of us take her bedroom (Burke has taken Father Michel's who won't make it because of a back injury). We tried to argue her out of it but you know Mama... I've never met a more generous giving woman in my life.

So many amazing GOOD changes here not to forget for - the kitchen is done! And apparently appliances are on the way, just waiting in the latest crate that was shipped from Florida (but has been held up in customs).

Of course there was a dance party that fight night outside in the courtyard under the starry Haitian sky AND on a stage!? Watch it here!Apparently a new addition for the new-years talent show RENMEN is putting on for the neighborhood.

We danced for who knows how long under the starry Haitian sky, Leah (the newest and latest addition) bounced along in my arms 100% in beat with the rhythms like no baby I've ever seen,

she is going to be a fiesty sty one.

The girls are back sleeping in their dorms and the relief tents are gone!!! Praise God!!!

Hatian Dance Parties

Hands down some of our most favorite moments with the kids are the `dance parties`. Burk captured this one on the first night... stage was set up in advance of the end of year talent show.

http://public.fotki.com/silverpsyche/haiti/haiti-part-2/mvi-0061.html

a not-so-smooth departure

My departure today was anything but what I expected.

I finished packing at noon and planned to shower, finishing grading (yes I still had papers to mark), and have lunch with family before heading to the airport to catch my flight to Miami at 3pm. At 1pm I logged on to submit student grades and saw two emails flagged from the airline.

The first email notification: my flight with American Airlines was cancelled due to weather in New York (where my stopover was).

The second: The new flight would get to to Miami @ 6pm on Wednesday 12 hours too late for my flight out to Port-au-Prince on Insel Air.

I sent out a quick prayer request to my support team and then got on hold with AA for about 30minutes to see if there was another way to get to Miami in time for my flight to Haiti. The agent told me that the only flight with any seats open to Miami was at 2:30pm but because US customs is IN the Toronto airport there would not be enough time for me to get to the airport and clear customs to make the flight.

This is when panic mode set in. If I didn't make it to Miami I would loose might flight to Haiti because it was booked completely separately. I got on the phone with Amy (who had arranged for all 5 of our tickets from Miami to Haiti) to see if there was any way she could see if there was a way to change my Miami-Haiti ticket to the following day (I had accepted the fact I wasn't going to make it with the other four based on the conversation with AA). All the while, I kept thinking how going on my phone, arriving in Port-au-Prince was not my plan, that airport arrival fear surfacing again. Amy pushed me saying that she didn't see how it was possible that I wouldn't be on the same flight as them and to get on the phone again with AA and not accept no for an answer (she was eerily calm and certain things wouldn't play out any other way than what we had planned). Something about her voice made me think if I was so sure about this entire return trip in the first place, why accept the airline agents answers about there not being a way to get there on time?

So, I called again. This time, the agent said the 2:30pm fight, the only one with any seats, had been delayed until 4pm. There were two seats left. According to the agent, there was a 50/50 chance I'd get on because it was likely the plane would be overbooked due to all the flight cancellations. But, the said it was worth a shot and to get to the airport ASAP.

I have never seen my family move so fast night my life. Within 5 minutes, all 5 of us were in the car and on our way. Mad dash of goodbyes and low and behold I was checked in with a seat... but... that isn't the end of the story.

Because then there was customs. You know when you just look at a customs agent and have that feeling that you hope you get someone else? Well, sure enough the one that I had that feeling about was the agent I got sent to. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I just knew. So, when he wasn't to take my I-94/TN visa paper I was pretty sure that if that happened I would loose all proof of eligibility to work/return to the US for work after finishing in Haiti. I need that permit to prove my work authorization. I asked to speak to someone else about it, since there was not point in arguing with the agent, and at that point he proceeded to send me to secondary inspection.

Secondary inspection is not a place you want to get sent to when you have less than 60 minutes to board your flight. Secondary inspection is the bowels of customs. I tried to explain the situation when they were checking me in there, but was pretty much told to sit and wait my turn in the room full of people ahead of me. There were enough people in there to make what I thought would be a 3-4 hour wait. I sat down all the while praying and remembered my talk with Amy earlier and how she had said not to accept no with the airlines and not to be timid. That if I had been so sure about this to behave on that surety. I knew if I sat down and accepted the wait that there was no way I would get on my plane, and I already knew that this flight was my only hope, so...... I went back to the agent who signed me in to secondary and tried again. All the while thinking this didn't make sense, pushing this would probably just make him angry and increase my wait time.... but somehow, whatever I said seemed to cause him to see the situation in a different light and somehow that is beyond me I found him walking me back to the original agent, getting the acting supervisor to come over, and getting the go ahead to go through! My departure has been anything but smoothed, but despite everything that happened I am still on schedule and, because of everything, I have just experienced first hand God's power and sovereignty. I feel as if He is showing me just how in control He is... and so I am grateful that today played out the way that it did.

However, the final customs agents did tell me I would have to surrender my I-94/TN paper when leaving Miami because apparently my work status does not allow me to leave North America (I didn't want to push the subject and ask if Haiti wasn't in North America, what content is it in exactly?). So, here I am, sitting in my seat on a plane to Miami with the very real possibility that once I leave Miami tomorrow morning I may not be able to come back to the US.... I am totally in Father's hands. Trusting in His promise never to leave or forsake and praying for a deepening of my trust in Him. And, remembering that he has drawn me with loving kindness; that I am loved by an everlasting love... that I am to love recklessly because it is what He designed me to do.

2: Corinthians 5:13-15: If we are "out of our mind," as some say, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced hat one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.

Zechariah 8 <3

I really am at a loss for words.

Lorna & Peter Hughey,Gary Dinkel & Alberta Piché, Rodney & Annette, Mike & Jess, Matthew Phillips.... THANK YOU!!! You generosity is so touching... often what matters most in life is how we respond to life... your response to give truly is a gift. These kids are going to be so blessed because of you.

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than we can we can ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory. Ephesians 3:20

Christmas card fundraiser & other surprises

I came home for Christmas late last week to find out that my little sister has created & sold "Hope for Haiti" Christmas cards to help fund my trip back to RENMEN... that my mother has collected FRENCH children's books (gently used from church friends).... and that to my great surprise the entire family is supportive and behind my return trip, despite the situation there. This has been the best Christmas visit so far ever. We went to get a French bible today (since Father Michel isn't returning I wanted to have one with us) and were overjoyed to discover a Creole new testament as well as French bible-story coloring books, and stickers. Those were Christmas presents to me from my sisters. The only Christmas present I wanted this year was to enjoy these 10 days with my family and to be used to bring some joy to the kids at RENMEN, God willing, for the time we'll be there. I'm so grateful right now for my family coming along side me in this. God is so good!

because pictures speak louder than words...

(turn the volume off at the bottom of the page or click HERE TO OPEN VIDEO ON A NEW PAGE)

Haiti, June 2010. from TIffany Handley on Vimeo.

Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart....

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5

I'm grateful that God put it on my heart to blog this entire process of His breaking my heart for Haiti because He has used it, my own writing, to remind me of His faithfulness and His plans for me.

This past week I found out that both AIM and the Rock Church are cancelling their upcoming missions trips to Haiti. And while I don't put much stock in news reports and the world at large when it comes to where it is "safe" to go if I sense God calling me there (sorry Mom and Dad, but I know this isn't news to you) to hear that two Christ-centered, prayer-led organizations that I trust are postponing trips due to risk assessment....well, I have to be honest and admit I paused.

I took a good long pause and thought about how "smart" it was to head back to Haiti in December. How "smart" it was for three girls to our own to return to RENMEN in the midst of cholera outbreaks and riots. I allowed my head to entertain thoughts of postponing my return. I entertained thoughts questioning whether my planned return was God's will for me or mine. It went so far as a conversation with one of the other girls who has booked a plane ticket that went something along the lines of well its not as if we couldn't change the trip dates and wait until June, it wouldn't be a bad thing to spend more time with families, and so on.

But, it was after sending out a prayer request, and no doubt due to the prayers I know were sent up(by the way, prayer warriors I LOVE you guys), that God spoke loud and clear and absolutely convicted me of His will for me during a prayer walk yesterday (Saturday). He reminded me of my prayer to Him, by the pool, where I said to Him that if He provided the finances I would return to RENMEN. God reminded me that I didn't pray that the conditions there would get better, that it would get safer, that there would be less risk... what I asked of Him was that if it was His will for me to return that He would show it through financial provision. And, as my blog testifies from the past few entries God provided AND THEN SOME. Without my doing ANYTHING.

When this hit me I all but started weeping (grateful for sunglasses) while I was walking... wondering why it is so easy us to forget and question that God speaks to us and shows us His will in the tangible ways that we ask for. I mean, He used a missionary to provide the finances for me and here I was already forgetting and questioning if I am supposed to go back!

So, I'm returning. Over the winter holidays, which was the vision God first gave me of returning before I had even left the first time. Actually, the first seed God ever planted in my heart for going to Haiti was to be there over winter holidays, before the earthquake ever happened, when Haiti was first put on my heart in late summer of 2009... I know, without a doubt, that God has purposed this for me. He gently reminded me of how He carried me through the first round of fear I had (I wrote an entire blog entry on "doing it afraid") . He hasn't said it is going to be an easy trip, that it is going to be without incident, but He has promised not to leave me or forsake me (Hebrews 13:5).

God has reminded me that He has given me not a spirit of timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline ( 2 Timothy 1;7). And when God says go, when you love Him, you don't question... you obey (Father please forgive me for questioning you). You trust Him without leaning on your own understanding.

He has also kept putting Psalm 91:7 in my head over and over again - though a thousand fall at your side, though ten thousand are dying around you, these evils will not touch you (I didn't actually know what the verse was but while I was praying He put the words in my head so I looked it up and now I know the reference).

And, perhaps the most touching thing that happened this week was Him moving those close to me, my mom specifically, by giving her words directly that have spoken to her anxieties and comforted her (Luke 8:50 Don't be afraid. Just believe, and YOUR DAUGHTER will be well)so that she comforted me. Bless her for wanting to protect me and keep me safe because she said she waited two days to give me those words 'cause she didn't want them to be what solidified my decision to go back. BUT, that is even further testament to God's perfect timing because the day she did was the same day I started off questioning and then became convicted of my lack of trust.

It shouldn't amazing me that God knows what we need before we do, but it still does. I'm so humbled by His goodness, and patience, and grace... that even when we are faithless He is faithful... His love is just the most incredible thing. Words really fail me here.

I'm reminded tonight of something I read by Oswald Chambers in a devotional a few weeks back:

As long as you maintain your own personal interests and ambitions, you cannot be completely aligned or identified with God’s interests. This can only be accomplished by giving up all of your personal plans once and for all, and by allowing God to take you directly into His purpose for the world. Your understanding of your ways must also be surrendered, because they are now the ways of the Lord. I must learn that the purpose of my life belongs to God, not me.

The purposes of my life belong to God, not me.

Dear Father, thank you for your infinite patience, forgiveness, and grace; thank you for taking me to the end of myself, and for overlooking my moments of forgetful faithlessness along the way; thank you for continually tearing down the things I believe and replacing them with THE TRUTH; thank you for filling me with a hunger than only you can satisfy; thank you for continually reminding me that YOU are always THE answer; thank you for loving me with an everlasting love.

Love, Melly

**UPDATE** and the Rock February trip is back on!!!!!! Amen!!!