Vaccinations & a minor freak-out

This morning, after having pneumoccocal, Tdap, typhoid, and H1N1 vaccinations pumped into both my arms, the Doctor at the travel clinic took one look at me and asked me to lie down for a few minutes - I'm guessing I looked like I felt, as if I was about to faint. And lying there I had another one of those "what-have-I-gotten-myself-info" moments where the reality of going to Haiti hits me (its been happening more and more) and I get a bit overwhelmed...

I have 33 days left in San Diego.

I have a return ticket as far as Atlanta. But, beyond June 30th arriving in Atlanta, I do not know what the future holds.

And, of course there is the fact that I have no idea what the future holds for me in Haiti itself.

Lying on that paper sheet on the bed in the Doctor's office I have to admit, I kind of had a minor freak-out moment of "what am I doing?!". And then I remembered my devotional from last night, "Character creates courage" and was encouraged.... so I thought I would share:

All you who put your hope in the Lord be strong and brave

~Psalm 31:24~

A legend from India tells about a mouse who was terrified of cats until a magician agreed to transform him into a cat. That resolved his fear... until he met a dog, so the magician changed him into a dog. The mouse-turned-cat-turned-dog was content until he met a tiger - so, once again, the magician changed him into what he feared. But when the tiger came complaining that he had met a hunter, the magician refused o help "I will make you into a mouse again, for though you have the body of a tiger, you still have the heart of a mouse."

Sound familiar? How many people do you know who have the formidable exterior, only to tremble inside with fear?... We face our fear with force... or... we stockpile wealth. We seek security in things. We cultivate fame and seek status.

Bud do these approaches work?

Courage is an outgrowth of who we are. Exterior supports may temporarily sustain, but only inward character creates courage.

I don't feel the need to cover up my anxiety or fears or concerns, I'm human and although we all say we need to "walk by faith, not by sight" it really is easier said than done. I know I need constant reminders.... I'm the first to admit I really, really, wish He would just let me see a glimpse of what life after Haiti will look like. Most of us, if we're really honest, have doubt and fear when it comes to totally trusting God to take care of things. I'll admit to my doubts and my fears, but I'll also put my hope in Christ to prepare me for the future, whatever it holds, wherever it may be.